25. 

obsession is the only true love language

everything else is knock-off mimicry

love grammar, love syntax, love fucking rhetoric

insipid vapid static slopped

into polystyrene takeaway containers of

terminal lassitude sharpied L

for idiots' identification

convenient consumption

be obsessed

​

24. goner

​even graves die, rent by

mother nature father time

grinding diamond teeth, dogged

feral lunging years

over their softest parts

guts and hearts

doubly gone

twice overrun

dust of bone

dust of stone

​

 

23. the fire and the moth​

              for the Fire, December ‘25‬

I heard a whispered story, once, of Opposites and Binds

something told to me a legend of Destinies and Designs

of a tiny nothing Moth and a magnificent wild Fire.

 

Fierce august Fire was tethered to the earth, where fuel

fell aplenty and he could be his full fire self:

forging goodwards in the world, easing worn hearts 

and minds of the endless gathered lucky, their 

tangled silken dreamons offered aloft, to unspool in 

his radiant radius. Should he be set from land 

he’d soon starve and dim and die; he was

of the earth. But he grew sometimes lonely.

 

Simple evanescent Moth was born of the sky, where Fate whims 

and winds helmed her days and she could be her most moth self:

spiraling moonwards, nudged crookways, tumbling 

upon unsaid curiosities hidden, forgotten, in Night’s stormcoat 

pockets. Natural witness to the exquisite, the excruciating;

Taking sacred note. Should she remain on land 

her wings would seize and dust away; she was

of the air. But she grew sometimes lonely. 

 

As is their duty, and on the forescribed day, a wry smiling 

Fatewhim ferried Moth along Fire’s way—each 

were never the same: Moth had held distant astral wilds in her eyes 

but never felt flare like Fire’s on her face; Fire had heard all earth’s songs

but none like those of beyonds. Moth soon trailed Fire, drawn 

to his soothing heartheat and solar solace. She’d fly further 

longer when warmed by him, and though she couldn’t 

light upon Fire for respite, she slept held, 

wings soft, on his thermal updraught salve.

 

Fire could undo Moth, vaporise beyond dust in a pyrophoric pulse but 

he took solemn care; she restored him 

like nothing on earth: When she drifted away hapzaggard, like 

smoke torn from a midnight chimney, then reappeared

numb and stunned with mouthfuls and mindfuls of

pointless fanciful quirks, she gave it all over to him—new fuel—

all she’d seen and felt. Fascinated, Fire would always slow, 

to catch each curio, thus his breath, too; finally 

fully renew his oxygen, to burn still brighter on.

 

So says legend: 

sometimes Destiny designs Opposites to bind, and when they do, they’re 

infinitely, synergistically, fantastically 

better together.

​

22. churchside

Toes flush to the kerb at Wakefield he 

waits for the green man to glow go

on, but he prays anyway 

hands nested under his chin, eyes 

closed, immune to the currents of 

traffic bluster breaths away which prise 

and quash the supplications from his lips.

 

Cars stopped, green man popped 

we all four corners surge forward 

a squared sea convergence in sombre collaboration;

our estranged purposes. Halfway ashore green man's gone 

I shoulder a glance: he's immutable 

benediction unbroken, now to the red man 

who warns don't go on.

​

21. tephra

loving you feels

like warming my bonechilled fingers,

blanched and numb,

at the mouth of a thundering, chthonic volcano;

everything I need

dialled to one trillion

—

and like grave reckoning

if exsanguine and blunt isn't wiser

than risk of self-eradication, the

slightest scoria slip, barefoot,

outstretched for warmth, catching ash and

accidental annihilation

​

20. too far gone

Don’t linger more upon hopes unborn,
but set out upon stark solemn sands.
Too far gone to make it back home by dawn.

When the last breathspecks of day are drawn,
Hina lunar uncurls her steady hand.
Don’t linger more upon hopes unborn.

Forward! lashes Tangaroa and warns
Move, before you founder, lost, and strand!
Too far gone to make it back home by dawn.

Steps spill ahead on a vast iron yawn,
tumbled upon shifting shores. Can you stand?
Don’t linger more upon hopes unborn.

Time moves only in tide’s dragging form,
little loved, once so firm, remains planned.
Too far gone to make it back home by dawn.

So if it must just let it be torn—
agonal breath bolting the badlands.
Don’t linger long upon hopes stillborn;
too far gone to be back home for dawn.

​

​

19. darling dating app lover
Spare me specifics of your aftercare service,
will you hold elevators for those most unlike us?

Zest for life, fine, but are you generous of time
do you quip, smile easy, with Sisyphus trolley guy?

Flawless foodie, could those behind with less go through?
Before your fat haul; fleur de sel, quail, wagyu.

Driven, directed, confident. But were you ever so still
to see slantways autumn sun tend places summer kills?

Narcissus unvaxxed. Pureblood ego. Naturally immune,
to drowning widower neighbour too proud to ask you?
—
I give zero shits for your money or spin
would you spoil your sharp polo for a grounded pigeon?

Carrying cash, multi-home man, for those homed less
though they smell bad, sound mad, mouth a white mess?

Fuck your ambition; have you squall and grit
to set stone from ash when good calls for it?

Did that prize fish linger undrowning, or tell me
if you killed it first quick before gaping thickly?

Hunter? Cool. But leering thrill photography?
Swollen tongue, loamed eyes; that’s no man to me.

 

​

18. cockcoach

there's a cockroach on the 70 bus

just a fast little guy 

can't squash his spirits 

see how he flies

cockroach with a plan  

bet he transfers up ahead

incurable adventurer 

gonna leave this all behind

no bag, wild stride

what a life 

what a ride

​

​

17. fibreglasp

you broke and entered two nights ago

turned up in a dreaming though

the love has yearslong been

turned down

now

your shadow's skin creaks whisperings in the wake

carapice clings still today

to everything - skinned knuckles in

the showerfall - monoxide lungs in

the streetfall - fibreglass gasp in

the grindfall, get out

you're unwelcomed

here

linger elsewhere

diminish someone more deserving

​

​

16. that peekaboo fuck

rainbow's been following me

all round the city

smug shit grinning low over Farro

like it doesn't know

everything's on fire

exit the supermarket the doctor's Mitre 10

it's waiting obscene unblinking

technicolour middle finger straddling

every sidestreet the InnerLink flashes by

peekaboo fuck

come back when you're greyscale

​​

​

15. foehn

there’s a high foehn wind gig down on KRd tonight

loud and lost and pinballing

whipping at the streeties

impatient spatula prising up cardboard cradle corners 

undercooked battle

to lay ‘em out flat 

 

there’s five winds preaching in Los Angeles tonight

Dantesque with none agenda 

   despite what people say there 

     about a space laser 

newborn streeties, same/same

even the superior fancy ones find 

to see the hell they’re raising the rents 

Santa Ana pries at their charredboard beds too, brand new!

 

no flames here tho, only

a flickering heat-printed bus ticket adjusting its collar flipping down the footpath, just

 

plumes of city pigeons resigned to

ruffle and reruffle till

the captive ball burns out to hush, and

 

the cinder voice but what of that man you loved 

out Castaic way shh, cinder 

go back to dead

​

​​

​

14. 2.2%

it’s payment first usually, for you tho 

say it and it’s free my treat my pleasure 

heartspace internal storage calculating…

2.2% available or 16 hrs from each monthbyte ideal 

heart’s pace arrangement away on a cliff so high so unlikely 

you can’t help but carry only yourself, head

west at Warner’s corner, whisper-knock and 

set your shoes and story at the door

hey you smell good come in nice room nice view 

later we’ll align in a silent night foehn and lofted see 

—your seatbelt arm rescuing me—

a rain-salved moon and its glittered scars and 

I’ll feel you 

harnessed in 

like your life depends on it 

​

delete that gold bind for 2.2% of your time 

(that’s enough for me that’s everything I need) yes I know 

you love your wife they all do so shall we say 6 forgotten by 10 

carved away dreamstate where

it doesn’t count so for 16 hrs defragment and recall you 

then return to your hamlet 

and again splinter frantic

for the longest 97.8%

​

2.2% alove 

you’ve way overpaid

​​​

 

​​​

13. kirihimete humidity (God, make a salad)

God opened the Shacklock door checked God knows

what he was baking or roasting or grilling in there but

on the next shelf down the whole of Tāmaki Makaurau baked 

and roasted and grilled along too

it may be he cracked it just enough just 

to fleetpeek and see if 

his dish was golden or risen or translucent enough but 

he set loose the quintessent kiwi

kirihimete humidity

this twenty-fifth, this christmas, his christmas 

the sky hung lower sung louder and swung loaded

the glare and the heat and the weight the

bloating heaven corpse pressing onto 

Queen Street unyielding the 

Obsidian Waters unyielding the 

people yielding

why are you cooking in this heat God

make a salad, please, up there 

cucumber capsicum carrot

it’s too glaring and sticking and ringing down here

all I want this christmas—

​

—but then the rain

it rained in my heart and street, and God 

flew away

​​

​​​

​

​12. traumatic cardiac laceration (whatif/heartstump)​

it’s one thing to have it break but

whatif I can’t find all the heartparts 

whatif they’re too small, too scattered

whatif some end, crushed, just dust

dis i n t e g r a t e d  

under the fridge 

sunder strewn stray      

 

whatif a tiny pricky shard nips

in my fingertip, when I 

collect it 

from a needy carpet seam 

whatif it then tracked—foreign body body shard—around my self

when collected

and swept away by a gusty vein rushed

driven directed

a retrograde shortcut course to its corse 

a serendipitous reunion incision, directly

to the heartstump 

from whence it grew and 

thence it flew when

you lurched and tore and fled 

while we, glowing, were conjoined at the heart

our natural allograft 

 

a love laceration 

degloved 

deloved 

they say a tear heals quicker than a 

fleet

cut 

but 

 

whatif too many fragments disappear to repair my 

centrepiece— if even misabled—

they can’t craft a heart allograft

from another otherhalf, and patch it, since 

three-halves-of-a-whole haven’t been discovered

 

whatif I with the side and slide 

of my hand—no pride—

sweep together enough pieces to

re i n t e g r a t e ,

how long to find them?

how long till the heartshards fail?

leathered loventrails 

ribs demoted to keep a permanent

heartstump only good for

loving jagged for

longing wrongly

​

​​

​

11. forfeit

Sailed by moon and intuit map

arrived, found our shore collapsed;

forfeit, caved, plunged into pitch.

 

Regard my hasty vessel: no paint,

seat smooth—accidental fast friends 

strewage, adrift.

 

​​

​

10. old year's resolution

tomorrow the newest year begins

its time to square away

unfinished uswork of how I treated you, love,

why we ended up this way

they say no blame should be lain, love, when

twin flames reentwine

but let’s be real, I should and do, love, take

most of it; blame’s mine

and now and how we’ve wound way here

to this newest turning year

let me apologise, unreserved, for

how I treated you, undeserved:

 

for my unquestioning unwavering

counsel and support

I don’t know what I was thinking but

do know you didn’t deserve it

 

my torrid worrying, my wondering

for your safety, for your peace 

to which I endlessly subjected you, disgusting,

undeserved

 

for casting lamps from unspare parts of me

shining that mylight, reaching down

outrageous to even contemplate,

shamefilled, ill-deserved

 

a year and reckoning, hand-in-hand nearly done,

bare blinks and beats left of each, love: only

for loving you with fevered impossible imperviousness

can I ever forgive myself, love

 

I see now such treatment you

never did deserve

​​

​

​

9. untitlement

I keep winding blind

here to search for you, but

you’re never coming back are you 

are you

are you?

 

I kept returning to that place

kept stalling for you, but

you never did go back did you

did you 

did you?

 

I came back fast as I could got

waylaid along the day, scared 

you won’t be back again will you

will you 

will you?

 

I’d retraced when I broke free, a 

driven stray by clinging fear: if 

we were ever really there were we

were we

were we?

​

​​

​

8. Warner's Autumn ♥

your breath fogs my skin

winter pane

 

your fever renders me

spring again

 

your mouth: sluice me clean

summer rain

 

your fingers rooted deep

autumn came

​​

​

​

7. worth

again I heard them chatting

about self worth today

and what it means and what it takes

and what we all would pay

 

so I jumped online and googled it

searched: what’s my worth rough estimate

and, sir, it turns out I’m worth way more—

way more—than you’re willing to pay

 

so like an underfunded escort

I counted all my change, gathered

everything you’ve paid me

for my services to date

​

it was meagre and missing zeroes

(no wonder I’ve felt like shit) but

I took myself shopping anyway

and bought good shit with it

 

I bought a set of boundaries

they’re wobbly but they’ll do

I bought some peace and self-respect

and some fucking Malibu

 

I have a tiny bit of change

left from my humble spree

guess you should have it back, now

it’s worth more to you than me

 

 

6. sermon

silly one

we must never never work

until a thing is

perfect, absolute— 

a plight unwinnable

but dear one

we should always always work

until a thing becomes all of itself—

a fight: celestial

​

​

5.​​ tied

in time, incoming tide

you came

to mean everything

to me,

and

​

in time, outgoing tide.

your words came

to mean shit

to me,

end.

​

​​

4. तितली: Abhi’s office butterfly

butterhatch buttercrawl

butterclimbing up a wall

buttertest

               butterwobble

                                    butterfall 

 

buttertry, butterguy 

butterswimmer in the sky

butterwhee

                  butterbe

                                butterfree 

 

butterride sky’s buttertide 

butterhigh for how you tried

butterlower

                  butterslower

                                       butterglide 

 

butterflicker butterland 

butterstumble in your hand  

butterfading

                   butterflagging

                                         butterdie 

 

buttercry, sings butterfly

up at my vacant buttersky

but look for Spring;

it’s not for always

                           butterbye

​

 

3. uncapacitated

who took it from you, love,

your capacity?

or did you drop it, love,

your capacity?

you had it once, love,

your capacity

most everyone does love,

some capacity

it's lost forever, love,

your capacity?

and was it all at once, love,

your capacity?

oh, now i see, love,

no capacity

it's long gone now, love, your capacity

can't withstand love, love,

uncapacitated

​

​

2. together tethered dark and light

there are Kaimanawa in me, two

together tethered in me, who

thunder wild and thrash and foam

scream and strain, corralled at home

moved to tear us three apart 

ever caged beneath my heart

 

there are Kaimanawa in me, two

together tethered in me, who

flag and pant and hang their heads

bindings slacken, peace instead

lift their muzzles to the sky

together tethered, them and I

 

bound forever by the rope

chasing peace and light and hope

complete together, we too belong

to the confusion and the throng

​​

​

1. some days ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​